As a professional speechwriter the boundary lines of good taste are pretty clear to me, but if you are writing a best man speech and are a little unsure about whether you have crossed those lines, let me make them crystal clear.
 
These are your no-go zones.  Do any of these and your speech is destined to be a stinker.

• Don’t talk about ex-girlfriends or previous sexcapades. It doesn’t matter that it’s in the past or if you’re making a positive comparison. In fact, don’t talk about sex at all. There are no exceptions.

 

• Avoid toilet humour or anything to do with bodily functions. It surprises me how many stories of the ‘brown variety’ I’ve had to advise people to leave out. You may get a laugh from the boys but — and trust me on this, everyone else will be cringing.

 

• Avoid in-jokes. If only a handful of people get the gag then everyone else is scratching their heads wondering “what was all that about?” In-jokes are a surefire way to create awkward silences and alienate your audience.

  

• This one should be obvious: don’t insult the bride, marriage or women in general. There is no place for misogyny at a wedding. Definitely don’t start banging on about how your previous relationships/marriage didn’t work out because a) you’ll bring the mood down and b) this is not about you.

 

• I repeat: this is not about you. It’s about the bride and groom. A good test is to go through your speech and circle any “I”’s with a red pen. If you end up with a sea of red then revisit your purpose and start editing.

 

• Don’t swear. It’s tacky and it doesn’t go down well at a wedding. Remember, there will grandparents and probably children in the room.

 
In summary keep your content family friendly. Ask yourself this: what would grandma or the bride’s parents think if they heard your speech?  If it leaves them feeling sorry for the bride because she appears to be marrying an absolute douche then you have your answer.
 
If all else fails, remember the golden rule: if in doubt, leave it out.

Last night I was invited to be a guest on 2UE's Talking Lifestyle program, chatting to Nick Bennett and Kayley Harris about how to write the perfect wedding speech.

​You can listen to the podcast here.

Traditionally it's always been one (or both) fathers, the groom, and finally the best man who give a speech at wedding, which stems from the days when women were generally seen and not heard at weddings.
 
But the winds of changes are blowing through weddings and more and more women are grabbing the microphone to say a few choice words, making a nice change form the all male line-up.

One of the great things about that is that without any traditional roots or official ‘duties’ to deliver, the format and approach for women is pretty flexible. Having said that, a blank canvas can sometimes be a little bit challenging, so if you're not sure where to start then read my advice on How To Give A Great Bride's (Or Bridesmaid's) Speech At A Wedding in the Huffington Post.

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Recently I was interviewed by the lovely people at the Brisbane Wedding Weekly. Here's a copy of the article they wrote. 


The wedding speech. Three words that strike fear into the hearts of grown men (and women) everywhere.
 
True, there are some enjoy it and love the buzz that comes from being the centre of attention, but for a great many the thought of public speaking combined with the pressure to come up with a heartfelt and entertaining speech causes nausea, sleepness nights, panic attacks and extreme anxiety.
 
If this sounds like you, or someone you know, then a professional wedding speechwriter, like Anita Stevens, might be your saviour.

Anita, who helps people (mostly men) find the right words for the big day, says that people often assume everyone can write a great speech, but the reality is that not everyone can – for the same reason not everyone is a handy man or a good cook.
 
“Some people simply cannot turn what’s swirling in their head into something eloquent and meaningful on paper. Others simply don’t know what to say or can’t find the words to describe how they feel,” she says.
 
And that’s where Anita can help. Anita translates their thoughts, feelings and stories into a well-written speech they can deliver with confidence.
 
While most people agree her service is a great idea, Anita acknowledges that there are some who need a little extra convincing.
 
“I have had a small number of brides tell me they would be very upset if their groom hired a speechwriter and they consider it cheating - but they usually come around after I explain the collaborative nature of the process.
 
“Essentially, I combine my clients’ words and stories with my writing skills so it still comes from the heart and they still sound like them – only better.”  
 
Anita says her process also has the added benefit of drawing out the words that many brides long to hear but may not have, had their groom been left to his own devices.
 
“What kind of speech would you prefer? One where he gets up says “Yeah she’s great”, offers a few lame jokes about his best man and then sits down, or one where he talks bout what he loves about you and why you’re The One? Working with a speechwriter can provide an opportunity for brides to hear something unexpected and really beautiful.”
 
Need some help?  
If you, or someone you know, is struggling to find the right words for the big day, why not get in touch with Anita at Write It For Me on 0418 120 551.