Anita Stevens | Australian Wedding Speechwriter

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Top tips for nailing your speech

12/19/2021

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Recently I appeared on Channel 7's The Morning Show. In case you missed it, here are my top tips for nailing your speech. 
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The Best Man Speech: How to Avoid a Stinker

1/29/2019

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As a professional speechwriter the boundary lines of good taste are pretty clear to me, but if you are writing a best man speech and are a little unsure about whether you have crossed those lines, let me make them crystal clear.
 
These are your no-go zones.  Do any of these and your speech is destined to be a stinker.

  • Don’t talk about ex-girlfriends or previous sexcapades. It doesn’t matter that it’s in the past or if you’re making a positive comparison. In fact, don’t talk about sex at all. There are no exceptions.
 
  • Avoid toilet humour or anything to do with bodily functions. It surprises me how many stories of the ‘brown variety’ I’ve had to advise people to leave out. You may get a laugh from the boys but — and trust me on this, everyone else will be cringing.
 
  • Avoid in-jokes. If only a handful of people get the gag then everyone else is scratching their heads wondering “what was all that about?” In-jokes are a surefire way to create awkward silences and alienate your audience.
  
  • This one should be obvious: don’t insult the bride, marriage or women in general. There is no place for misogyny at a wedding. Definitely don’t start banging on about how your previous relationships/marriage didn’t work out because a) you’ll bring the mood down and b) this is not about you.
 
  • I repeat: this is not about you. It’s about the bride and groom. A good test is to go through your speech and circle any “I”’s with a red pen. If you end up with a sea of red then revisit your purpose and start editing.
 
  • Don’t swear. It’s tacky and it doesn’t go down well at a wedding. Remember, there will grandparents and probably children in the room.
 
In summary keep your content family friendly. Ask yourself this: what would grandma or the bride’s parents think if they heard your speech?  If it leaves them feeling sorry for the bride because she appears to be marrying an absolute douche then you have your answer.
 
If all else fails, remember the golden rule: if in doubt, leave it out.

Do you need help to write your best man speech? Get in touch. 

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How to write the perfect wedding speech

2/9/2018

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Last night I was invited to be a guest on 2UE's Talking Lifestyle program, chatting to Nick Bennett and Kayley Harris about how to write the perfect wedding speech.

​You can listen to the podcast here.
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Weddings, Parties & Celebrations on Sydney's 2GB

2/6/2018

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I was asked to be a guest on 2GB 873 - Sydney Talk Radio's Weddings, Parties, Celebrations segment on Sunday night. You can listen to the podcast here. I start at about the 35 minute mark.
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A royal bride breaking protocol to give a speech at her own wedding? Well it's about damn time

2/5/2018

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Hallelujah. It’s only taken a few hundred odd years for a royal bride to break protocol and give a speech at her wedding, but finally the moment has arrived.
 
According to The Sunday Times, Meghan Markle is set to make the unprecedented move and give an “affectionate” tribute to her new husband at the reception. There might even be few gags thrown in as well. Gasp! 

Today I was interviewed by Cosmopolitan Australia and asked to share my thoughts on Meghan's decision and provide a few tips for brides-to-be.
Here's the article.

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How to nail the bride or maid of honour speech

4/19/2017

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Traditionally it's always been one (or both) fathers, the groom, and finally the best man who give a speech at wedding, which stems from the days when women were generally seen and not heard at weddings.
 
But the winds of changes are blowing through weddings and more and more women are grabbing the microphone to say a few choice words, making a nice change form the all male line-up.

One of the great things about that is that without any traditional roots or official ‘duties’ to deliver, the format and approach for women is pretty flexible. Having said that, a blank canvas can sometimes be a little bit challenging, so if you're not sure where to start then read my advice on How To Give A Great Bride's (Or Bridesmaid's) Speech At A Wedding in the Huffington Post.


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Wedding survey reveals what your guests REALLY talk about on the way home

6/13/2016

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​It's NOT the dress, the music, the table plan, the food or even the champagne.
 
An anonymous survey conducted in the UK asked 380 wedding guests what topic would most likely dominate the trip home from a wedding and 95% answered: the speech. Nothing wrong with that if the speech is a good one but 50% also said they’d seen a bad speech nearly ruin a wedding.
 
It’s not surprising really when you think about it. I’m sure most of us have sat though a terrible wedding speech at one time or another. I know I have. Common mistakes – often intended as jokes – include bagging the institution of marriage, lamenting the demise of single life, and a best man who thinks - and drinks - like he’s at a 21st birthday party, leaving uncomfortable guests and a mortified bride and in his wake.
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With Australian couples spending upwards of $30,000 to create the perfect wedding, it’s surprising that many people still do a half-baked job of their wedding speech at the last minute or even worse, decide to 'wing it.'

A speech can make or break a wedding, so it’s worth spending the time, effort and, if necessary, money to get it right. Let's face it, not everyone is a gifted wordsmith for the same reason not everyone is a handyman or good cook so if you need help, get it! 
 
Working with a speechwriter to write your wedding speech can cost less than some brides spend on their hair, which is a relatively small investment for one of the more memorable aspects of a wedding, don't you think? And a foolproof way to ensure you're not the one guests talk about all the way home, for the wrong reasons.

"​The worst I saw was when the father of the bride went on and on about how his marriage to the bride’s mother had nearly destroyed him. He spoke for nearly 20 minutes and then told the couple he didn’t believe in marriage anymore but wished them luck.” -- Phil

“I was at one where the maid of honour recited a rhyming poem to the wedding couple with a paragraph about the groom's small 'indiscretion' while they were dating! I didn't know where to look.” -- Karen


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“We had one where the best man accidentally toasted the groom and his ex-wife. Shock horror all around.” -- Annie
 
“I remember a drunk best man (brother of groom) spoke for 1 hour. They couldn't drag him off. Even when the band started playing (on request!) he still didn’t take the hint and kept trying to talk over the top of the music.”  -- Les

See the full survey results here. 
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Outsourcing your wedding speech...and other unusual tasks.

2/15/2016

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Very chuffed to see the great write up about my business in today's Sydney Morning Herald and The Age about unusual small businesses. You can outsource anything these days!
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My 6 tips for delivering a great wedding speech

12/9/2015

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As a professional wedding speechwriter, I’m often asked for tips on delivering a great speech. There are so many great ones but here are my favourite six. 
 
1. Practise but don’t memorise
Don’t feel you have to memorise your speech because you will only trip yourself up if you try. That’s not to say you shouldn’t practise. You should – a LOT. The trick is to know your speech well enough so that you only need to refer to your notes to jog your memory. The more you can look up and connect with the audience the better.
 
2. Turn nervousness into excitement
Remember it’s a privilege to get up and tell the people you care about how important they are to you so try to look forward to it. You’d be surprised at what a different this change in mindset can make. When you think about it, anxiety and excitement feel very similar — butterflies in your stomach, sweaty palms, increased heart rate. Don’t try to squash the feeling just try to refocus the  nervous energy.
 
3. Resist the urge to start speaking right away
This one is a great tip from Simon Sinek, one of the TED’s most-watched talk presenters. He says, “A lot of people start talking right away out of nerves. Take a deep breath, find your place, wait a few seconds and begin. It may feel excruciatingly awkward but nobody notices this and it helps you gather your thoughts and shows the audience you’re totally confident and in charge of the situation.”
 
4. Slow it down...a lot
When you’re nervous there is a tendency to speak too fast. Your heart is usually racing and so your words follow suit. The problem with this is when you don’t leave any pauses in between your sentences you make it really hard for your audience to follow what you’re saying. Make a conscious effort to slow down and don't worry, you’re not speaking as slowly as you think you are.
 
5. Make eye contact with audience members one by one
Richard Branson once said that when you need to speak in front of a crowd, close your mind to the fact that you’re on a stage with hundreds of people watching you and instead imagine yourself in a situation where you’d be comfortable speaking to a group. He likes to imagine he’s in a dining room telling a story to friends over dinner. He works his way around the room making eye contact with each person so it feels more like an intimate conversation.
 
6. Remember that the audience likes you
Remember, at a wedding everyone in the audience is there in high spirits and full to brim with good will. They aren’t there to heckle you and they’re not expecting a perfectly polished performance. They want to hear from and want you to do well so try not to be too hard on yourself. Relax and enjoy the moment.
 
What about you? Can you share any great tips that have worked for you?  
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Is it ok to wing your wedding speech?

7/21/2015

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I can’t tell you the number of times I've inwardly groaned (and sometimes outwardly when I haven't been able to stop myself) when someone has told me they are going to wing their wedding speech.  It's almost always a terrible idea.

I think most of us will agree that what usually follows the words: “I’m just going to ‘wing it’ and see what happens” is often disastrous and leads to embarrassment and regret – not just for the speaker.

Even if you are a master at public speaking on the fly and thrive under pressure, it's always a good idea to give a good amount of thought to your speech.  

If you're still thinking about winging it then perhaps you'll reconsider after reading my guest blog on Polka Dot Bride. 

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